People Who Need People

by Stew Shaw

in Uncategorized

OK, OK I realize grabbing a phrase from Barbra Streisand’s 1964 hit gives away my age. And yes my hair’s gone grey, et al. But I’m not here to bemoan the good ‘ol days. Or am I?

Like it or not, right now the Web’s heavyweights are waging a battle for our mice. Under the guise of helping us connect seamlessly with more people – AKA making friends – they’re rolling out apps, plugins and widgets aplenty. And as you can see on this blog I’ve done exactly what they want – made it easy for you to Like or Buzz or Tweet any of my stuff if you care to.

Those of us who in some way or other have set up shop on the Internet can easily fall in love with this functionality and make the illogical assumption that…

numbers of friends/followers = prospects/customers

Obviously that thinking is a marketing FAIL.

My experience off the starting blocks with Google Buzz over the last 24 hours inspired this post. From a brand new Gmail account I then created my Google profile, made a single Buzz post, and posted a comment on a popular Buzz user’s stream. Before you know it she (@Linda Lawrey) had Buzzed her followers recommending they Follow me. Now 30 complete strangers have me on their radar, and the number’s growing. All without automation. Who knows what opportunities this may open for me in the future?

Facebook’s latest changes introducing a range of social plugins and interface changes are causing the usual storm of protests from its user base. Just go to the official Facebook blog and check the tone of the 1000s of commenters. Not that FB heeds that sort of negative feedback. But it doesn’t take much insight to realize that the UI and app development roadmaps of corporations such as Facebook and Google are driven by business agendas, and can we blame them? They are not charities.

Back to my theme. Are digitally made friends good for us? I sit at my desk and click on profiles and widget buttons and voila, my fan base grows. But my mobile phone sits idle. I’m not seeing these people face to face. Even when I do visit places and events where real live connections can be made, the opportunities for doing so are limited. Maybe I’m atypical – an unknown from Downunder can’t be expected to make a big splash no matter if the events are in Vegas – as they were at 2 seminars I attended last year. I read the other day that there’s even an iPhone app for making connections with other seminar attendees. Nice.

Famous psychologists like Maslow recognized our fundamental need for social interaction. I wonder if clicking Like and Buzz buttons qualifies?

  • drericagoodstone
    Stew, In just this past week I have spoken directly with 3 people who have either "liked" my FB page, been connected with me in TSA and read some of my comments, or just felt that perhaps there was a way we could connect and help each other out. I am finding the web an amazing place to connect with "real" people, although it does take some time to actually decide to talk on the phone or skype. But monetizing all these connections, there is a science and an art to it, a marketing/sales know how that has to be developed.
  • Hi Steve, My background in anthropology would see this as a powerful social revolution. Though we many not be increasing our business with increasing our Buzzes, we are still involved in an event that has never occurred in human history. It's going to be amazing to see where this goes. And we will be able to talk about the "old days." And yes, I Buzzed you.
  • karatedar
    Stew,
    I look at connections with friends in the social media world as just the beginning. From there, you Skype or talk on the phone and build relationships with those you resonate with. Maslow would agree, I think!
  • There definitely needs to be a balance between the automation of our marketing and the personal touch. I believe there is a "sweet spot" where we can effectively do both if done correctly and professionally.
  • Stew,

    Great post... with some very good questions.

    Yes, we do believe these "digitally made friends" are good for us. They help us to spread our message a lot faster than if we did it ourselves. Sometimes it does lead to personal face-to-face contact, but only for a very small percentage of the digital numbers. The online friends are great, and the personal relationships we build are greater.

    Thanks,
    ~ Pat and Lorna
    http://TheCoolestCouple.com
  • theuns
    Thanks I love and agree with you Blogging and Social media is the way to go .
  • Hello Stew - good post. As someone fairly new to all this, I occasionally wonder if it makes sense. As someone who is a networker by profession I believe wholeheartedly in the face-to-face networking involving building rapport, understanding and finally collaboration. So my conclusion is that I think social media is a good place to make contact with potential networking partners or customers but then a second action of meeting in person must take place or your efforts will fall apart over time.
  • Hey Stew,

    Great post my friend. It is so true how people think that the number of friends equals the number of people that are interested in your niche market. Real marketing needs to take grow through the people so that they can be more effective in what they were doing. Thanks for sharing.
    Make it a great day!
    God Bless,
    -ed
  • I wonder if our world will ever take a turn where computers go bust and we all have to deal with each other face to face again?
  • Hi Stew,

    I enjoyed your post. There will be nothing to replace the interaction of a one-on-one relationship, even the internet. We are always in the people business! Building relationships is critical.

    Have a fantastic day!
    Lloyd
  • LynnGlaser
    Hi Stew,

    To me quality is far more important than quantity when it comes to this sort of situation, and it's all about having decent and genuine connections.

    I always ask myself 'would I converse or even do business with this person in the offline world?' It's an issue I've struggled with since I started my online presence.

    Thanks for the insight Stew.

    Cheers,

    Lynn
  • Yes Stew, I really enjoy this post (including the title song - age thing)! We are all in it together! Who knows if we'll be able to build our list and sell our stuff and make some money?! I do know I'm meeting new people, developing new realtionships and having a blast! The future will speak for itself!
  • Great post, Stew. No....I don't believe we can truly qualify digital friends as true friends. However....there are also ways of taking the next step, even in this digital, virtual world, and actually becoming friends with them. Thanks especially to programs such as Skype, I've managed to not only become great friends with folks I initially met through Facebook, but some are also business colleagues with whom I consult and support almost on a daily basis. They have become much more than just another connection out there in cyberspace. They are real people whom I have gotten to know and appreciate as people -- some as far away as South Africa, Singapore and the Philippines.

    No matter how technologically advanced we get and how many widgets and apps and gadgets we add to our web sites, blogs and Facebook pages, no matter how many Tweets of value-added information we send out daily to our followers, people still want to do business with people, not just some opportunity. That is what builds long-lasting relationships and good solid businesses. Call me old fashion, too, but that's okay. That's my story, and I'm sticking to it! :-)
  • Steve - I'm totally with you on your story! You expressed it brilliantly too. I didn't mean to imply that there weren't real people at the end of every one of those keyboards. To be sure the connected web has opened up ways to connect that were impossible not too long ago. The important thing is not to see our online friends/followers as a meal ticket but to realize each of us has value. It's from the sharing that we provide mutual benefits, and the magic is that synergy can happen too.
  • brucebackman
    This is great! I try to use technology and then also develop relationships. I have been privileged to develop a number of budding relationships and I am grateful for them. But it certainly takes more than technology to develop these. Nothing beats talking to someone on the phone (or skype) and even better yet…meeting them in person. There is a reason that so many people at the end of their lives wish they had spent more time developing relationships than anything else. At the end of the day…these are the things that truly last and bring dynamic life to all of us.
  • Bruce you're bringing it right down to the nitty gritty, to the things that really matter. Most of us don't ever want to think about any of this coming to an end. But it will, our days are numbered, and then our tech stats won't mean anything will they.
  • nancyburkebarr
    Hi Stew, Your post is quite thought provoking. I do have to wonder if this is really working on a human level, after all. When you get all the answers, let us know!

    Mentor Mama
  • You are right on Lori!
  • love your peice. As someone who has been physically touching her clients for 30 years as a haircolorist and business owner, I can tell you, know matter how much money we make on the internet and how much of a following it brings, it will never replace the connection two people make when they can actually see into their eyes and touch them..That's is why I will never "Quit my day job" as I get into the internet world. It's priceless!
  • Stew Shaw
    Thanks Raina. You've shown the benefits of building relationships totally at the other other end of the spectrum - even closer than face to face. And it's a great insight you shared - maybe that's why I shouldn't ever quit my night job either, minding ICU patients.
  • You're a good soul Stew. Keep the night job. Nothing can replace the human connection.
  • lorirobertson7
    Stew, awesome post, I do believe that automation is good and can connect you with a lot of people but yes we do have to make our connections personal to really build lasting relationships. Both are very crucial to our success.

    Lori
  • Stew Shaw
    Right on Lori. You've nailed the key word - "personal." Thanks so much for the distinction.
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